There is a reason why I don’t watch much news. I find it irritating and sad. I also have to fight against judging the actions of others. I can’t understand why people are so cruel, and disrespectful. You have probably seen it recently, in sports, politics and entertainment. When I see these things I wonder about us. Mankind I mean. However God being God uses these things to remind me of my behavior. So I shamefully submit the following:

A couple of weeks ago I was crossing the street. I wasn’t at the light, which is over a block away and forces me to walk in a direction away from my home to the front of my development. I live in the back of it. If I cross in the middle I can get home in half the time. Anyway I was waiting for the light traffic to clear. This is not a busy street it is only two lanes and you could lie down in the middle of the day without fear of being run over. Even the geese cross in the middle.

I stepped into the street, there were no cars coming in the south lane I was in. I stood there to let two approaching cars go pass in the lane going north. I was about 2ft from the dividing line. A woman, driving a van stopped. I waved her on seeing the car behind her coming up fast. I waved at her again to go on. She didn’t. The driver behind her slammed on the breaks almost hitting her van. The woman in the van still did not move but motioned me to go across the street. Her face was without expression, unaffected by the near miss behind her. I ran across the street wondering why she didn’t move.

I looked back at the woman driving the car in back of the van. She had a cell phone to her ear, but she took the time to shout at me. Her voiced was ugly in anger.

I, strong in Christian love responded.
WHATEVER!  I matched my anger to hers.
I instantly felt guilty, but not guilty enough to be genuine.
GOD BLESS YOU! I hollered sarcastically to her back bumper. In no way thinking of anything remotely related to a blessing.

Of course God is wonderful and I have been forgiven but I felt so bad that for days after I walked the long way home. I felt guilty because of how I responded. Also because she was right I was jaywalking. As much as I wanted it to matter that she was on a cell phone and maybe not paying attention. It didn’t. I shouldn’t have been there. I went from an ordinary day to shouting at a stranger. What was wrong with me? I wonder if you ever had this kind of moment. Get if off your chest, I promise. I won’t judge you.

It's nice to be nice---Bishop Alfred A. Owens, Jr.
No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted.---Aesop 

6 Responses
  1. Of course I've responded in anger! The thing with me though is that I usually laugh at whomever I am about to "go off" on. This throws them off as I assume from facial expressions.

    Then my dagger-like tongue rips quite deeply, but not too deep that it causes death 'cause my sinner-self want them to live so that they will NOT make the mistake of crossing me ever again, and they leave wounded.

    That's just ugly ain't it? I know you said that you wouldn't be judgmental, but I myself know that it's ugly and sometimes I really do just have to walk away and even still people give me a hard time about that as well.

    Okay, so, to get to what you really asked about, the last time I responded not so nicely was when a Kirby salesman came to our home. I told him that we'd just purchased one last year but he pushed anyway by saying that the one he was promoting was an upgrade.

    With my hand on my hip I told him that if I needed to upgrade a $1600 vacuum within a year's time then he better be prepared to give me a refund. He had a very good rebuttle, "Ma'am, I agree but this upgrade is not to say what you have is not efficient. It's just that this one comes with a new look and more attachments."

    As I was slamming my door, I loudly told him that I had said no! Poor guy was just doing his job. I told my husband about it and he just shook his head at me.


  2. Analisa Says:

    Larie your response caused me to laugh out loud.

  3. Jane Says:

    Well, well, well, we're all the same Analisa. I was musing on my behaviour (speech) these 2 days when I read your post, how I could say things I shouldn't have even though its the 'truth', or the way I feel it is. When words are many transgressions abound. I decide to pray through my weaknesses again, asking for His forgiveness tonight. BUT I know, I'll commit the same mistakes again, though I hope less and less. Remember how you'd encouraged me saying that we're earthern vessels? I've been reminding myself that I'm but an earthern vessel, may be even cracked on the sides, but God will use me, He'll let nothing go to waste. Analisa, the very fact you're feeling sorry shows that you're a child of God, and sensitive to Him. Thank God for a sensitive spirit, only with this can we grow. Take heart, I've done too many tit-for-tat things that I would not like to list down, but just to forget and move on, I aim to do better... :)

  4. septembermom Says:

    Well, as a mom of four often rambunctious kids, I have lost my temper more than I would like to admit. Sometimes kids and circumstances try your patience and you do explode for a moment. I always feel bad when I get to that point. I vow then to try and control my reaction better next time. However, since I'm human, I know that I will probably fail in that department once again. We're all trying and praying.

    You have a lovely blog here. I look forward to following you :)

  5. Analisa Says:

    Jane- Yep you are right we just have to pray and keep trusting God to make us better.

    Welcome to my blog!
    Love that name September Mom. I became a Mom in September. I see we are all on the same page. We have our moments, but thank God our forgiveness is a prayer away.

  6. I so appreciate your candor, sweet sister.

    I once yelled at the manager of a fast food store because she used the "s" word in explaining how to clean the grill to an employee. I ranted and raved how I didn't come there to spend my money and hear that kind of language, that it was very unprofessional, etc.

    I felt so horrible when I got home, I wanted to call and apologize, but my husband said "Don't worry about it."