I love my local grocery store. It’s so local in fact that I can walk to it in about 7 minutes so I’m frequent visitor. I like filling my cart and unloading my bounty in the kitchen pushing items into the normally full shelves. This past winter I had financial challenges. I struggled to get the basic necessities of life and quickly went into the “just what you can eat mode”. Other than toilet paper and soap, if you can’t eat it, I can’t buy it. Quickly the only cash I had was from a jar of spare change I kept on the kitchen counter. I emptied it into one of those coin cashing machines and it came to about 63 dollars. I purchased the basics, bread, meat, peanut butter, rice, dried beans.

Soon that money ran out and I searched every pocket and handbag for more change and found my stash of Kennedy half dollars, Susan B Anthony dollars, and some other coins collected over the years of plenty. I looked at them long and hard picking one of each to save and made the now dreaded seven minute trek to the grocery store. Gone was my appreciation of the vast selection and nothing new was going into my basket. I went straight for the items on my list praying they were on sale trying not to look at former favorites. In line I tried not to increase my growing embarrassment by looking to see how many folks were behind me as I carefully counted out the seven dollar total in stacks of coins. I handed them over, pointing out to the young cashier that the Susan B Anthony was a dollar, not a quarter. She looked at it. Oh yeah she says delighted. Are you sure you don’t want to keep these? I knew then she did not see me as someone who was lacking anything. Just a lady wanting to get rid of some change the way folks around here put their expensive extras outside on the curb. I was buying food, for myself and my son I was ashamed that I did not have bills. How ridiculous. I was where God wanted me doing what He said. I had no doubts on that. He promised to take care of me. On the way home teary eyed I prayed. Forgive me Lord for my pride and thank you that I had the coins to pay for this food.

My embarrassment had replaced my thankfulness. My cabinets were indeed spare, but it was me who needed change.