Letting relatives move in with you. If there is a disaster that left their home looking like toothpicks that’s ok. Not for those who only work about as often as Santa.
Talking to telephone solicitors. Look I know it is your job, but you are the call no one wants. I try to save you time by saying no thank you and hanging up really really fast.
Stealing food from the office refrigerator. They are on to you and that is not chocolate in those chocolate chip cookies.
Telling anyone they have gained weight. It still amazes me that people feel the need to point this out. “Really I hadn’t noticed” I replied while sipping my chocolate Slim fast.
Asking a woman when is the baby due? Unless you have an invitation to her baby shower assume she is retaining water. I speak for the women of the world. It is the all time embarrassing insult when you are not pregnant.
Premarital sex. It is like mama said “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Oh yeah it is all fun and games until you need to get that penicillin refill.
That second helping. Just put the spoon down slowly ma’am and back away from the Ben & Jerry’s carton.
Loaning money. Just give it to the person, if you can’t afford to give it away you can’t afford to loan it either.
Talking politics. I am black conservative in a family of liberals. Do you have any idea what that is like? (play violin here)
Stupid arguments. "I am telling you he was the 3rd James Bond not the 4th." "You can’t do that in Kentucky without a permit." "Why can’t you take two steps and put it in the hamper?" "Well I think Marianne was prettier than Ginger."
4 Responses
  1. First, thank you for your comment about my book *smiling* --made me laugh -the PMS and chocolate comment -- !!

    I HATE it when someone tells someone they've gained wait! As if a person doesn't already know - pah!

    hope you are having a wonderful day....

  2. This is a great post, and all SO true!

    Thanks for your insight on the modest clothing issue, I really appreciate it.

  3. My father is an alcoholic too - a recovered alkie - he hasn't had a drink in near-fifty years... I don't remember him drinking.

    Your description of the "sharks after blood" is so apt - so true.....!

  4. Sara Says:

    Good stuff!

    (It took my husband 3 embarrassing pregnancy incidents to quit asking. Not good!)