For months now I have been rising early each weekday to work out to Hip Hop Abs. Having a nice chunk of fat to lose I was finally motivated to do something about it. I wouldn’t pull a red sleigh laden with fat like Oprah but my fat was not chubby cute. I watched what I ate on most days and was starting to see a payoff. Twenty five unneeded but invited pounds were finally gone. I was very happy and wanting to see more flab fall off my short frame, I added walking each day to my plan. I donned my old but small radio Walkman and made my rounds in the neighborhood. That’s right I said Walkman. As long as there is free radio I won’t pay for the oldies I already purchased twenty years ago. Soon I started to notice a little ache in my left leg as stepped the grape vine across the carpet with my new best friend Sean T. I was hungry to kill off more fat. I pushed forward past the ache paying a little more attention to my warm ups and cool downs. It didn’t matter. By the weekend the pain became so bad that I actually was hobbling slowly around the house. This pain came close to child bearing level. When nature called I was barely getting a seat on that porcelain ride because the act of sitting and then standing came with price that was getting higher. At bedtime I had to give up my normal deconstructed fetal position way of sleeping. The only relief was to rest flat on my back slipping in and out of sleep. One night my brain rebelled and I rolled to my side tucking my legs up. A red hot blast of pain raced up my leg jolting me to full consciousness. My body shouted. HEY WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THAT? Tears sprang to my eyes, terrorized I struggled to fall back asleep. On my back again I spoke a vow to my body in the dark of night. I will not roll over. I will not roll over. I will not roll over. When it became light my son went on a mission of mercy to purchase Motrin because the pain laughed at the Aleve I had taken. Eight hundred milligrams later I could hobble with less pain. Exercise was impossible. My greatest fear was to awaken to find the pounds piled back on laughing hysterically around my belly with ten new friends in tow. In just a couple of short days I had been stripped of my weapons for fitness. I had a set back, obstacle, pitfall, barrier, hurdle, hindrance, wall, stumbling block all those things we all have at one point in our lives. I discovered I had sciatica and found the best way to treat it. Walk some rest some. It was two weeks before I could exercise again. I feel like I have gained at least ten pounds back, but refused to verify it on the scale. I struggled enough to find the will power to start over again. I still have my moments but I know that seldom are good things in life free. I fell, but now I am up again and it is great to be on the losing side with my old friend Sean T. Self respect is the fruit of discipline: the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. --- Abraham J. Heschel